that time everyone bought the same millennial pink prom dress.

T O D A Y L E T ' S T A L K D E S I G N . . .

When I was in high school (seven years ago, which is a crazy, stupid, and depressing amount of sands in my hourglass) someone my senior created a revolutionary Facebook group: “Don’t Steal My Dress, BITCH! Prom 2010.”

The concept was simple; post a screenshot of your dress in this marvelous little group before any other hoe even deigned to try it on. Bonus points if the pic was of you wearing the dress in a Bloomingdale’s fitting room with a saucy caption like: “Hand’s off ladies! This one is MINE!”

Looking back this practice seems deranged, or at the very least the epitome of a first world problem. So what, two girls show up in the same dress? The only real problem to matriculate would be if their dates confused them and if THAT were the case then we have bigger dragons to slay, ladies.

Yet, isn’t using a private Facebook group to organize the masses in this way… a little bit brilliant? Prom was the Academy Awards of my high school years. Most of my friends played soccer or sang in musicals. Do you know what I did? I read YA romance novels and spent hours experimenting with liquid eyeliner. I was ALL GIRL and holy heck, prom fed my soul in unspeakable ways.

I didn’t concern myself with finding a date (flew solo both years!) because I was more consumed with finding my exceptional, amazing, one-of-a-kind, Fug Girls-approved dress. And if some biddie dared to show up in my coral, shimmering sheath? THROW HER TO THE WOLVES!

You bet I lavished that Facebook group with attention and praise. Yadda, yadda, sisterhood, but I’m telling you that at the end of the day no girl wants to share her signature look.

Which is why my visit to HelloGiggles today began with a sharp intake of breath.

Because HelloGiggles LOOKS DIFFERENT*

And by DIFFERENT I mean EXACTLY THE SAME as every other millennial woman-skewed site.

See what I mean?

Like, yowza.

One more...

Now guys, blush pink is the hue of my natural aura, but even I’m starting to tire of millennial pink’s bug-eyed grasp of consumer-friendly aesthetics these days. These sites are near identical.** I’m not one to question the bottom line (This is a lie. I very much question the bottom line on  p l e n t y   o f   t h i n g s) but I must ask myself: even if Refinery29 is leading the wave of cool-girl digital channels, is it necessary to copy their design to achieve similar results?

I know, I know. Stealing has always been the way of the working world. “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” blah blehh. I get that many of these designers probably didn’t have a choice when creating the sites. They probably got a list of demands from their new, fuddy step-parent and acted accordingly. No one wants to lose their job because, what, they had a moral obligation to resist the evils of color hex #fdb2cb? Lol no.

But speaking as most of these sites’ prime TV-consuming, makeup loving, 100% girly girl female demographic, I want something new. Something unique. I don’t like sharing. Prom dresses or otherwise. As the age old wisdom goes, “Comparison STEALING is the thief of joy!” So let’s get some redesigns in place that make me feel something other than minimalism-induced insanity.  

*The site was apparently redesigned in September 2016, but helloooooo, we were all a-tizzy with more pressing news at the time.
**Disclaimer: I read and love all of these sites. Keep churning out quality content, ladies!