what do you do when you're upset?

As I meander through the stages of post-relationship grief, I've been experimenting with healthy (and unhealthy) distractions. Because relationships are never truly dead in the age of technology, I prioritized deleting message threads and all-too-tempting social media apps on my phone. I even unfollowed him on Spotify which, surprisingly, was the most difficult stimulant to quit.

From there, I laundered for hours, watched an entire season of Once Upon A Time, splurged on a major item, vacuumed, painted my nails (twice), worked, read, cried, slept, and ate entirely too little. (In an extreme and singular event, I took two bites of an ice cream cone, felt like vomiting, and trashed the whole $5 dessert without pause.)

Despite all these distractions I still feel like bucket of mop water, heavy and unclean. Many kind friends, family members, and strangers have chimed in with broken heart "cures," but perhaps the best advice came from a neighbor and therapist: "Be uncomfortable," she instructed. "Feel itchy and scratchy in your own skin, savor your unhappiness, acknowledge your suffering, and observe your emotional response. Be in the moment and DON'T immediately distract yourself; Distracting can lead to numbing and numbing can lead to deep addiction down the road."

Now when I feel like my stomach is bottoming out or like I will never be joyful again, I remind myself to fully feel the uncomfortableness and know that this feeling isn't permanent. But for now, this feeling is merited and demands to be felt, even if it's painful and nauseating.

It got me wondering: what do you do when you're upset? Do you cry hysterically and move on? Do you give yourself license to eat every variety of Cheetos?  Do you Google cures for breakup blues? (I totally did.) Let me know.